You are my Sunshine

The sun has been shining a bit more recently, which just makes everything seem so much better and brighter! I heard someone say that living with depression is like living with a black cloud over you and it really made sense to me. It also made think of that quote:

"no one wants sadness, no one wants pain, but you can't see a rainbow, without a little rain"

One of the problems with my depression is a complete lack of enthusiasm for everything. I have no interest in getting up and starting the day, some days I wake up and cry because I woke up! To anyone who has no experience of depression, I know how odd that must sound. I have a beautiful son, a wonderful husband, a loving family and caring friends, who all love me. But despite all this, sometimes I feel so hopeless that I just want to get away from it all. It's so sad and I hate it because it sounds like i'm ungrateful for all the wonderful things I have in my life. I'm not though and it is those that love me that keep me here, keep me focused to live life, even when it's the last thing I want to do.

The depression is not something that I can control and I have to live with it everyday, or, try to carry on living with it. So, to me, everyday, life can be a battle. A battle of my will to get better over my brain, which is telling me to just give up. But the sun shining helps and I'm going to look at the start of this new season as the start of me getting better.

On the days that the sun doesn't shine so bright, I will remember that I have my own little sunshine in George. I used to sing him the song 'You are my Sunshine' when he was little. So when the skies are grey and that black cloud is over me, I will hold my little man in my arms and sing him this song and let his love for me and my love for him over ride those feelings of hopelessness. George James Samuel Patterson- YOU are MY Sunshine!